Once upon a time there was a mom of 9 kids, 1 husband, 3 dogs, 1 cat and assorted other livestock, who was born missing the financial responsibility gene. A sad story I know. It's my story, all these kids, all this responsibility and I don't balance my checkbook, I bounce checks due to poor accounting practices, I buy what I want when I want, I use credit, debit or cash whatever is handy, I refinance, I juggle and I struggle and there you go - its purchased and everyone is happy. But are we truly happy?
Year after year, crisis after crisis I promise myself.......this will change. I am like an addict, I hit the bottom and I am going to be good - and I am for a short time and then.......well, you know where this is going.
This year a friend recommended to our small group study that we should consider one word for our 2015 New Year resolution and I chose the word "aware" and so it begins - a journey of awareness and I don't know how it will take shape.
In January I decide to give up my wine....I call it "my" wine because it is like my best friend - a glass or two a night, after everyone is settled down and I love it!! To motivate me and keep me on track I take my plight to Facebook - where else do you find support and accountability these days!! It works - no wine January is a success and I donate the cash savings to a local family in need. Wow - I rock!
February arrives - its a short month - maybe I should give up something difficult - not so many days in the month!
February turns out to be a month of reflection. I start to think about our finances (again) and where we can save money and where we spend our money. I will drive us to the poor house by nickle and dimes and an occasional dollar bill. The coffee at Dunkin Donuts, the Egg McMuffin at McDonalds (my favorite) The trips to the gas station for diet pepsi and treats for the kids. Where does it end and when do the kids learn that there is not an unending stream of cash for every time they have a perceived need? So as I am contemplating all of this my sweet friend Sara posts (on facebook of course) a link to a fiscal fast. Really? A coincidence? I am not so sure as I am always trying to keep my eyes open for the things that God is trying to show me. So I contemplate, I think about it, I ask everyone I know - "What do you think?" Mostly they think I am crazy - I meet with my small group and I ask them - What do you think? And God Bless their souls for excusing my bad behavior away with statements like "you are always so generous to others" but, I am not deterred, my financial house is crumbling down brick by brick and I need to make some serious changes!!
Although I am still not sure - the morning of February 27th. arrives, two days before the March 1st. deadline.... I hit the bible app on my phone - and what to I see but Galations 5, verses 23 - 24 from the Message translation - Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.
Ok - I am in - God has spoken and I am going to so this!! I am temped to hoard many things - wine being one of them but I kinda think that might be cheating!!
So I am off and running - day one feels like a complete disaster! Hubs has decided that the family should go out to breakfast with Grandma Sis as he has been trying to set this up for weeks - really?? Today?? March 1st?? O.K. I will make an exception - I can't control every want (not need) of the guy who actually makes the money to support this crazy house. I hand him the debit card and ask that he pay the bill and to make sure that he generously tips our Cracker Barrel waitress (there are 10 of us at breakfast) - he does well and heads off to our local Walmart where he proceeds to purchase 10 packages of socks (another story for another time) and drinking glasses (a second story for another time) but, seriously today of all days??
As I am typing this Hubs arrives again and asks if we want to go to the Casino with his mom (Grandma Sis) next Saturday - I look at him and I am not sure whether to laugh or cry.....I am totally about the fun but, I say "No, you can go if you want but I am staying home" Ugghhhh!! This is going to be harder than I thought - but I am tough and stubborn - two traits that will hopefully serve me well for the next 30 days!!!!
